So about a week ago I stepped outside of the norm and found myself watching the Bachelorette (I know don’t get me started). Shortly after the show was over there came, quoting my mother, “the best part…the whole reason for watching”. The first EVER sit down with the previous Bachelor Jake Pavelka and his former fiancée Vienna Girardi since their HORRID BREAKUP (gasp!!).
Personally, I don’t understand why anyone would want to subject themselves to an awkward scream fight between 2 people seemingly “in love” and actually call it entertainment but to teach their own, I guess. What I did realize throughout this experience, is that there is a few things we can learn from Jake and Vienna pertaining to the business world and how we conduct our lives on a daily basis.
You see, as the fighting drug on, what I noticed is Jake and Vienna had 3 very specific problems in their relationship that no doubt were the main cause that resulted in the break up. Ask yourself these questions and see if they fit into your relationships in the work place…
1.) How are your Communication skills?
Personally, I don’t understand why anyone would want to subject themselves to an awkward scream fight between 2 people seemingly “in love” and actually call it entertainment but to teach their own, I guess. What I did realize throughout this experience, is that there is a few things we can learn from Jake and Vienna pertaining to the business world and how we conduct our lives on a daily basis.
You see, as the fighting drug on, what I noticed is Jake and Vienna had 3 very specific problems in their relationship that no doubt were the main cause that resulted in the break up. Ask yourself these questions and see if they fit into your relationships in the work place…
1.) How are your Communication skills?
Anyone blind, deaf and/or mute could tell that Jake and Vienna have serious communication problems. The constant “he said, she said” mess where they tried to justify their actions towards each other by expressing the other “never listened” while talking over each other’s sentences shows that neither one of them really heard the other person, let alone really tried to understand where they were coming from. Yet, in their own mind they are right, and the other is wrong. I feel like this happens a lot in the business world. Whether you are a manager not really trying to understand your employees or an employee hating on “the man”, the lack of communication often causes more work and stress than in necessary. I know it can be awkward to approach a co-worker or even a boss in a confrontational way, but biting the bullet can work out some misunderstandings and cause more peace in the work place then in the long run, it’s worth it. You just have to get past the fear and see the bigger picture. I think if Jake and Vienna had taken a second to see the bigger picture outside of the little fights about furniture arrangements and GPS systems and really tried to listen and understand where the other was coming from, they may have had a chance.
2.) Do you choose Honesty?
2.) Do you choose Honesty?
The biggest issue throughout Jake and Vienna’s brutal public therapy session is the fact that neither one of them trusted the other. Jake accused Vienna of cheating… Vienna accused Jake of being abusive…but if you really listened to their arguments, they were both dishonest at times throughout their short-lived relationship, which in return planted seeds of doubt in both their hearts. I know that the little white lie can be easy and is accepted as ok in most situations if you ask around, but one little white lie can lead to a bigger lie, and then a bigger one, to the point in which it is no longer okay. It’s better not to start at all. Honesty has been lost somewhere in the business world and people are searching for it. If you can be known as a trustworthy, honest person to your co-workers and boss then I guarantee success will follow. A little white lie may help you in the moment, but being a person of integrity and honesty will follow you everywhere you go and benefit you in every situation for the rest of your life. It seems like it’s not a big deal at the time, but if you watched, it’s not easy to see that it was the tiny insignificant little white lies in Jake and Vienna’s relationship that were the biggest issues in the end. If they had just been honest from the beginning, then it would have been easier in the end to give the other the benefit of the doubt.
3.) I know you’re looking, but do you really SEE the other?
If you take Jake and Vienna’s relationship and look at the whole picture, there is one thing that rings true; they never really took the time to really see the other as they really are. They both looked for what they could benefit in the relationship, not what they could give. So many times in the work place this is the biggest cause for unhappiness. Instead of going to work to see what you can gain, try looking around you at the people you work with and really try to see them for what they are, how they contribute, and how you can work together to really make a difference. If you go into work with that kind of attitude I guarantee your happiness level will elevate. Take it upon yourself to take ownership of your job and help others see their potential. Who knows? You just might make some lifelong friends in the process. If Jake and Vienna would have taken the time to really see each other and how they can work together in the relationship, rather than search for what they could gain I think we would have seen a very different reunion special.
So there you have it. Three ways Jake and Vienna have taught us to be successful in the work place and in life. Remember, these are life lessons; they don’t have to stop at work…but it’s definitely a good start.
What are your thoughts? Do you see how things could have worked out differently for them? Do you see any of these issues ringing true in your own relationships both personal and professional?
