I believe!

A few weeks ago I went to New York City with my friend Rachel. Being that I am from a small, po-dunk town in Oklahoma, this was quite an exciting adventure. I love city life! I would love to be right in the middle of the fast-pace lifestyle where there is constantly something going on at every corner, where people take taxies or walk everywhere they go. So fun!

Believe it or not, out of everything we saw and experienced, I would have to say one of my favorite things was the Rockefeller Center. I know, it sounds strange. Honestly, the only reason we went was because my mom said it would be a good experience. I wasn't convinced. The only thing I knew about John D. Rockefeller was that he was some Oil Tycoon that made lots and lots of money and eventually owned like, most of NYC.

But when we got there, to my suprise, I ended up being more impressed with the man thanI had origionally expected. Right in front of the huge building was a plaque inscripted with his beliefs:

I believe in the supreme with of the individual and in his right tolife, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

I believe that every rightimplies a responsibility, every opportunity, an obligation; everypossession a duty.I believe that the law was made for man and not man for the law; thatgovernment is the servant of the people and not their master.

I believe in the dignity of labor, whether with head or hand; that heworld owes no man a living but it owes every man an opportunity tomake a living.

I believe that thrift is essential to well-ordered living and thateconomy is a prime request of a sound financial structure, whether ingovernment, business or personal affairs.

I believe in the sacredness of a promise, that a man's word should beas good as his bond; that character-not wealth or power or position-is of supreme worth.

I believe that the rendering of useful service is the common duty ofmankind and that only in the purifying fire of sacrifice is the dross(waste matter) of selfishness consumed and the greatness of the humansoul set free.

I believe in all-wise-and all-loving God, named by whatever name, andthat the individuals highest fulfillment, greatest happiness, andwidest usefulness are to be found in living in harmony with His will.

I believe that love is the greatest thing in the world; that it alone can overcome hate; that right can and will triumph over might.”

After reading this, I thought to myself "self, this man is deeper than some cut throat business tycoon, he is obviously a christian." It was obvious to me. Nothing on this plaque is origional and anyone that has read the Bible knows that, but as I looked around at the other people reading the plaque I realized that not one person around me was of the christian faith. I struck up a conversation with the muslim man next to me. I asked him what he thought of the plaque and he said that they are very bold statements and someone in his country would be arrested for such statements. I asked him what he thought if his beliefs (particularly the "all-wise-and-loving-God" part) and he said that he believes he is a strong man and he believes in God, just not like Christians do. "Poor Chirsitans are decieved" he said. We talked a little and bounced off our beliefs and ideas and the reasoning behind them. In the end, nothing really happened (meaning I didn't pray with him and baptize him in the fountain or anything..haha) but I hope if anything I planted a seed. And without this plaque, I would have never had the opportunity. Like I said, I don't know much about John D. Rockefeller and his life, but I respect him because if anything, he left something behind that will plant seeds in the hearts of people around the world that come to see his amazing accomplishments. Reading that plaque inspired me to want to live like that and it gave me an awesome opportunity.

It's so hard to see what's right before my eyes

I have this problem...people tell me its pretty common but that isn't good enough for me. I don't want to be common. For about 7 months now, I have had the hardest time trusting God. I can't seem to trust him with anything! It's extrememly frustrating. I want to trust him but I catch myself pulling back like he can't be trusted or if I do then I will get hurt. Still time and time again, he continues to be faithful...even when I'm not.

I just recently visited a friend in North Carolina and we traveled up the East Coast. It was quite an adventure and something I will never forget. We didn't do a whole lot of planning, we just kind of left. So many times during our trip God showed up and provided for us in ways only he could do. The things that happened were at the most random times coming from the most random people but I found that by the end of the trip I had no problem trusting that no matter what happened, God would have our backs. It was exciting to have conversations like:
"where are we going to stay tonight?"
"I dont know"
(2 hours later)
"Hey this lady gave me a free hotel room for us to stay tonight"
"What?!?!"
It was so amazing I almost couldn't wait to see what was going to happen next! My whole point to this is that trusting God and seeing it happen right before my eyes was the most amazing and comforting thing I have ever experienced. So you would think that after something like that I would have no problem trusting him with the rest of my life. But I am learning that for some reason it comes and goes. I want to...but I can't let go.
That frustrates me beyond belief! He is right in front of me saying "I have what you are looking for, just trust me" and I run away scared everytime. I used to not be like this...and I don't really know how to get out of it. I want to be able to jump and not think about it. All I know is that somethings got to change.