Words Women Use

So in one of my classes we were talking about the differences between men and women. My teacher read a statement out loud and then chose one female and one male in the class to explain what they heard. It was hilarious! Both said something completely different. This, of course, proved my teacher's theory.

Later that day I got these phrases and definitions from a friend titled "Words Women Use". It fit perfectly with what we were talking about in class. I thought they were funny mainly because I agreed with most of them. This prompted me to make some of my own.

For the girls: enjoy.
For the guys: pay attention, you might learn something.


"FINE"
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.(sounds accurate)

"FIVE MINUTES"
If she is getting dressed this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.(TRUE... or be there in a minute)


"NOTHING"
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "Nothing" usually end in "Fine".(True)

"GO AHEAD"
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.(YES.....)

"LOUD SIGH"
This is not actually a word, but it is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".(most of the time)


"THAT'S OKAY"
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.(sounds right, depends on the circumstance... so think first boys)


"THANKS"
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.(the truth)


"WHATEVER"
It's a woman's way of saying *!#@ YOU!(not really, my way of excusing an argument... just like "FINE")


"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" or "EXCUSE ME?" or "WHAT?"
No, she's not hard of hearing. She's just giving you a chance to recant the stupid thing that just came out of your mouth and to either escalate the conflict by saying it louder (remember, you'll lose) or to come up with a clever substitute that sounds pretty close to it (like instead of saying, "That's why I hate you," you would say, "That's why I dated you"). WARNING: If you try to use "Nothing" as a response, she won't accept it.(LOL- I agree)



Here are a few I tend to use.............................................


"DO WHATEVER YOU WANT"
If it's not your birthday or a special occasion, this usually means that I'm tired of arguing about it. However, if you decide to do what you want knowing that it will upset me, then you will have to deal with the consequences later. So it better be worth it!

"I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT"
There is no hidden message here...when I say this I REALLY dont want to talk about it. Especially if we are out in public or a large goup around. Maybe I will talk about it later but right now is not the time.


"BE BACK IN A SECOND"
I fully entend on getting back in a second, but in all actuality, I really have no idea when I will be back. There is a good chance that I will stop and talk to anyone I might pass on the way to my destination or get destracted by something along the way.


"I DON'T CARE"
This is a tricky one because it all depends on the circumstances. Sometimes I really don't care...but other times I really do care I just don't want to start a fight or upset you. With this one, you should really focus on what comes next...if you get a "Do whatever you want" and or a "Fine/Whatever" then that means I really do care and you're in trouble. Otherwise, I honestly don't.


"SURE"
Okay, I don't really want to, but I would rather see you happy.


"BITING MY THUMB NAIL"
(not words, but most mistaken thing I do) I'm either thinking and trying to work out something that is bothering me, upset, or nervous. (its usually nervous or thinking) This does not mean I'm mad at you, 99% of the time it has nothing to do with you. If I'm upset its usually not the time or place to talk about it so I use this as a filler so I will keep my mouth shut.


"THE SMILE" (not words, but speaks volumes)
This could mean one of three things...
1.)The "friend smile" is used between me and my close girl friends. This is usually used as a confirmation that we both just heard/saw something that we will talk about later (usually had to do with a previous conversation)2.)The "akward smile" is used in akward situations, with passing strangers, or in times where there is really nothing else to do.
3.)The rest of the time there is the "happy smile"(this one is used most often) where I am thinking of what a great person you are and how blessed I am to have you in my life. No response is needed, just know I appreciate you.