I have this problem...people tell me its pretty common but that isn't good enough for me. I don't want to be common. For about 7 months now, I have had the hardest time trusting God. I can't seem to trust him with anything! It's extrememly frustrating. I want to trust him but I catch myself pulling back like he can't be trusted or if I do then I will get hurt. Still time and time again, he continues to be faithful...even when I'm not.
I just recently visited a friend in North Carolina and we traveled up the East Coast. It was quite an adventure and something I will never forget. We didn't do a whole lot of planning, we just kind of left. So many times during our trip God showed up and provided for us in ways only he could do. The things that happened were at the most random times coming from the most random people but I found that by the end of the trip I had no problem trusting that no matter what happened, God would have our backs. It was exciting to have conversations like:
"where are we going to stay tonight?"
"I dont know"
(2 hours later)
"Hey this lady gave me a free hotel room for us to stay tonight"
"What?!?!"
It was so amazing I almost couldn't wait to see what was going to happen next! My whole point to this is that trusting God and seeing it happen right before my eyes was the most amazing and comforting thing I have ever experienced. So you would think that after something like that I would have no problem trusting him with the rest of my life. But I am learning that for some reason it comes and goes. I want to...but I can't let go.
That frustrates me beyond belief! He is right in front of me saying "I have what you are looking for, just trust me" and I run away scared everytime. I used to not be like this...and I don't really know how to get out of it. I want to be able to jump and not think about it. All I know is that somethings got to change.
No comments:
Post a Comment